Boobs in Tech

Proglamming job opening in SF!

Sun, 18 Dec 2011 16:20:05 -0500

Are you wearing makeup right now? A lot of it? Do you look like you’re ready for a night on the town at all times? Can you also code with long nails? Then this is the gig for you!

We’re an early-stage, super funded girly startup - focusing on our own demographic. We’re building a highly visible, innovative searchable marketplace with a social twist for women-specific products and retailers.

We are all about team bonding. We have girly parties and like to blast the Top 40s every morning while we all start off with some group Yoga. We buy organic healthy salads for lunch and splurge out on a fancy dinner in town twice a week all together. We totes expect to bitch about our men, so be prepared to dish out.

Knowledge of JavaScript and Ruby on Rails required.

(or what the female equivalent of brogramming would look like)

Brogramming gig

Sun, 18 Dec 2011 12:56:44 -0500

I don’t even need to add commentary to this one:

Calling all brogrammers, interns, and one special office manager

… We like to party. We are laser focused on work, but expect to get crunk at least once a month. We believe in a healthy life balance, dev team walks, adequate sleep for the team, and eating our own dogfood. (Actually we provide lunch and dinner for the product team). We believe in 16GB of ram, dual displays, and the cloud. We like dev team field trips, forking code, and building tools to make our own team more productive. We love all kinds of music, tv, movies, and books (and headphones).

…

Why, yes, we love a manly activity

Sat, 17 Dec 2011 13:30:00 -0500

Why, yes, we love a manly activity:

Did you know that programming is a manly activity? No? Well, a fellow-bro tells you how to code like a man. Not a bro? Too bad then. Perhaps you might want to join girls-only groups to meet bros?

Hai guys. If I’m going to go all bitch on your asses,...

Fri, 16 Dec 2011 18:56:59 -0500

Hai guys. If I’m going to go all bitch on your asses, I’ll be sure it’s pink and surrounded by hearts. Because all women identify with pink and cursive.

The Double Standard

Fri, 16 Dec 2011 08:10:06 -0500

Nothing sucks more than being the only woman in the office, calling everyone out for drinks at the end of the day, and getting that weird look from at least half the dudes in the office.

“Who did she invite first?”
“Is she flirting?!”
“Is anyone else going? Otherwise is it a date.”
“Can I even go get drinks with a woman? Or is she going to talk about shoes the whole time?”

Some of us just want to get a beer at talk about hacker news. Get over it.

Bad reasons for hiring women programmers #1

Thu, 15 Dec 2011 21:11:00 -0500

The first bad reason to hire a woman came in today and had stupid written all over it:

Because women are great at cleaning, so their code would be meticulous.

I should invite said gentleman to my humble abode where he can wade through the heaps of filth I’ve developed. Some of us ladies are too busy to be scrubbin’ the floors all the time. Or ever for that matter.

TWSS

Thu, 15 Dec 2011 11:13:34 -0500

How many “That’s What She Said” jokes can you make in one hour? A lot on the internet. A lot. I’m going to just write a bot that responds to the following words with “twss”:

hot
hard
in
out
on top
below
a
the
start
end
cats.

There is a girl on the internet!

Wed, 14 Dec 2011 20:54:51 -0500

Next time you discover someone is female on an IRC channel, please don’t be tedious with your stupid No Girl on the internet “joke”. It is not funny dude! Not even when repeated 100 times by several of you.

how not to make friends with technical ladies

Wed, 14 Dec 2011 20:31:46 -0500

A lot of women have horror stories about dick moves by dudes at technical conferences, but the most unwelcome I’ve ever felt was at a conference where women kept coming up to me. Why? Because they all opened with, “Are you a wife, or a girlfriend?”

Like, duh, why else would a chick be at a technical conference except as someone’s date?

Freak Show Exhibit

Wed, 14 Dec 2011 20:03:22 -0500

I humbly request your first question to women at tech meetups not be “How do you feel like being the only women in this room?” because it would have me reply with ”How do you feel like being the only moron in this room?”

Circle of Moms

Wed, 14 Dec 2011 10:26:15 -0500

Startup party time:

Circle of Moms connects moms to the people, information and products they need to thrive in a complex world

So… you connect “moms” to “the people” eh? Because moms are what, roaming milk producers? Oh this complex world we live in is far too complex for those poor moms, who only had to carry a fucking baby inside them and are now raising it.

Message to Women: Apply for More Tech Jobs

Wed, 14 Dec 2011 10:08:33 -0500

This is the sort of messaging that causes me to vomit a little in my mouth every time:

Message to Women: Apply for More Tech Jobs

Facebook’s COO Sheryl Sandberg: “These Jobs Pay More, There is More Job Security!”

Because what could I possibly care about?! Interesting work? NO. Intellectual stimulation? NO. Just money and security for me you guys, I am a frightened little creature!

you know what this brogramming meetup needs? chicks, man!

Tue, 13 Dec 2011 18:45:00 -0500

you know what this brogramming meetup needs? chicks, man!:

From the description of Austin, TX’s brand new brogramming meetup group:

Once we have enough members I’ll aim to arrange social mixer events with some of the Austin female based meetup groups. (There ya go boys, an incentive)

lucky for her video card the IT guy was a leg man

Tue, 13 Dec 2011 18:42:17 -0500

Our office has no cubicles so I usually wear headphones so I can concentrate while I’m at work. But they’re just normal earbuds and I’d like the guys in my office to know that they’re not sound-proof. Especially the unnamed colleague who sits to the left of me. So when I get my fucking video card replaced after two months of my monitor flickering on and off and you call the IT guy over to your desk when he finishes and complain that you haven’t gotten the special keyboard you wanted yet because he wouldn’t get to stare at a nice pair of legs while swapping it out, I CAN HEAR YOU. I’m pretty sure I got my video card replaced because I need it for my fucking job, but maybe you should try taking a jog once in a while and see if it gets you your keyboard any faster.

Await us

Tue, 13 Dec 2011 18:02:18 -0500